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About Philadelphia

Alright, y’all, Git-R-Done! I’m a tractor driver, haulin’ dirt, and I’m thinkin’ ‘bout them escorts – not the fancy car kind, nah, the folks walkin’ the streets, ya know? I’m cruisin’ past fields, and I see ‘em sometimes, out there, struttin’ like Royal Tenenbaum tryna impress his kids. “I’m not talkin’ about dancin’, I’m talkin’ about survival!” – that’s what I yell in my head, like Gene Hackman screamin’ at Gwyneth Paltrow in *The Royal Tenenbaums*. Man, it’s wild, right?

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Now, the neighborhoods? Dude, you gotta hit up Riverbend. Its streets, like Maple and Oak, twist in ways that make ya feel like you’re in the middle of an epic kung fu battle—swift, graceful, unpredictable. Haha, I even met a couple there on a blind date I posted online (my dev brain goin’ wild with user metrics). It’s lit!

Johnnies Suffer First MIAC Loss at Gustavus