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About Philadelphia

So, I tried it, right? Met this chick online—total babe! We’re chattin’, and I’m like, “You’re purtier than a saloon gal!”—straight outta the movie, heh! She laughed, and I’m feelin’ all proud. But then—BAM—she ghosts me! Made me madder than a jellyfish sting! Why ya gotta flake, huh? I was ready to be her Robert Ford, loyal but dumb, y’know? “I ain’t no coward,” I’m yellin’ at my phone, but she’s gone. Pfft, sex-dating’s a rollercoaster, man!

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Oh, and check out the art scene along Brickell Lane. Graffiti splashes every wall. Each tag tells some twisted fable. I once dodged a paintball attack there—seriously, bullsh*t like in Mad Max, "I'll ride into the sunset, you miserable wretch!" My adrenaline was high, and so was my sarcasm.

Video: St. Clair Shores restaurant owner attacked by DoorDash driver