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About Houston

Thing that pissed me off? She’s countin’ the cash like I’m gonna stiff her. Rude, man! I’m an accountant, I don’t screw up numbers! But then she’s all chill, crackin’ jokes—says she once had a client pay with a goat. A freakin’ goat, dude! I’m dyin’ laughin’, picturin’ that. “The beast is here,” I say, noddin’ to the movie vibe. She don’t get it, whatever.

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Now, neighborhoods – oh boy, brace yourself! The West End is a mishmash of vintage buildings, bizarre murals, and hipster bars that think they’re the dog's bollocks. Wandering these streets, like one time on 3rd Ave, I nearly got mugged by a wannabe influencer! Yeah, life's unpredictable, ya numpty. But then, you got the quiet cul-de-sac near the local park – Maple Grove Park. I can’t f*cking remember a time I wasn’t inspired there. Crazy enough, I once met a girl who insisted she’d seen Ida in a mirror, muttering "I am... who?" near the duck pond. Ridiculous, right? But hey, that's Saint-Albans!

St. Albans Town Selectboard prohibits public nudity; Fee goes up to $500 per day