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Anyways, I’m lyin’ there, towel barely hangin’ on, and Lila’s workin’ knots I didn’t know I had. Hmm… feels so good it’s stupid! But then—ugh—she cranks the lavender oil, stinks like Homer’s socks! Made me mad, like, “Lady, I ain’t a candle!” But then she hits this spot—bam!—pure bliss. “Something always works,” like Charlie Kaufman says, y’know? Surprised me how quick I melted.

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I always get a proper kick outta wanderin’ 'round Lakeside Drive in the old neighborhood of Bristol, which is mad old-school. The streets are lined with vintage shops and quirky cafes where my app dat binges love realist chats. Ain't that a laugh? Crazy how even the smallest details – from cracked pavements on Willow Street to the neon lights over Central Docks – make dis place a living, breathing character.

Back-to-back shutouts show pitching is in order at Little League district