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I tell Dave, “Look, genius, you wanna risk it? No insurance covers that!” He’s all sheepish, mutterin’ bout loneliness. Aww, broke my heart a lil – but c’mon, man, get a dog! I’m thinkin’, this fool’s gonna end up broke or busted. Prostitutes ain’t cheap, y’know? Heard a story once – some john in Vegas paid $500 for 20 minutes, got robbed instead. Hella wild! Laughed my ass off picturin’ it.

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Now, lemme get into some secret deets: there’s this tucked-away side street by the railroad tracks – I think it's called Thornberry Ln – where locals pass gossip and dreams. Regretfully, I've seen many a tense client unknowingly vent there while I smoothed out their stress. “We shall fight this stress!” I'd mutter, channeling Churchill again, as I kneaded away the knots.

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