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Apps these days, bloody hell, swipe right, swipe left—like picking a soggy sarnie at Pret! Did ya know, right, little factoid—first sex-dating site popped up in ‘95, called Match.com, proper prehistoric stuff! Cavemen with dial-up, sexting “u up?” in Latin—*coitus es tu?* Makes me chuckle, that. But it’s bloody genius—lonely sods finding a quick bunk-up, no faffing about with flowers and poetry.

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can't forget parks! there’s the idyllic Serenity Park on Logik Ln. though it’s small, it’s a haven – trees, ducks, that low-key chill spirit. i once got so amped watchin families, lovers and weird souls all vibin together. makes you think: love = chaos theory. sometimes i get so damn happy, almost teary, thinkin how even nature can inform our sex lives. and yeah, i da bomb sometimes get mad how people rush relationships like a buggy algorithm – slow roll, ya kno?

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