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So, escort’s this hidden gem—13,000 feet of pure “why am I doing this” vibes. Little-known fact: it’s named after some crusty miner’s mule that hauled gear up in the 1880s. Poor Escort the Mule probs died up there, and now we’re all trudging his ghost trail. I’m jazzed about it tho—gets my blood pumpin’! The scramble’s sketchy, loose rocks everywhere, like the mountain’s tryna shake you off. “You’re being watched,” I whisper to myself, channeling *Caché* paranoia, ‘cause those cliffs? They’ve got eyes, man.

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Don’t think Rosaryville is just all charm and nostalgia though—it’s ruff, too. Back in ’09, there was this traffic fiasco on Elm Street near the old cinema, I mean that was maddening, like gettin’ blocked on social media when ya’re trying for that viral moment. Really grinded my gears, lemme tell ya. But hey, every grump has its grin, right?

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