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Lemme tell ya, sex-dating’s like Scout camp – unpredictable! You’re out there, hopin’ for a spark, maybe a tent moment, wink wink. I got mad once, tho – dude catfished me with a pic from ’98! Looked like Sam Shakusky’s dad, all rugged, but showed up baldin’ and whinin’. I was like, “What’s this crap? I’m no Captain Sharp fixin’ your mess!” Total buzzkill.

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I'll be blunt: Sometimes this town pisses me off. The city council makin’ wild decisions on our lovely, quirky neighborhoods? Drives me nuts! Take Elm & 3rd, for instance, once slated for a fancy mall biz. I said, "You know, in my line, your knotted crap ain't gon' solve these folks' problems!" Yeah, I get heated, but hey, freedom of speech, am I right? And then, outta nowhere, I found a tiny park tucked behind a block that smokes with character and holds a memory of my old life. Pure gold.

Dinner is burned: Rocky River Police Blotter