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About Phoenix

Been at it for years—seen shit you wouldn’t beleive. Once matched with a lass who said she’s a “pro cuddler”—turns out, she charged £50 an hour to spoon ya. Laughed my arse off, but I was tempted, swear down. “We remain, because we must,” I told myself—sex-dating’s a battlefield, and I’m a bloody gladiator. Angry? Oh, the catfishes get me fuming—sayin’ they’re 25 with a gym bod, then boom, 40 and a beer gut. Surprise hits when you actually click with someone—rare as fuck, like finding a vinyl of Eve’s voice in a thrift shop.

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So, buddy, if you're headin' here, be ready to get hit with a mix of charm, chaos, and a few surprises along the streets. And remember, if someone stops you on N. Main with a “Gabagool? Ova here!” – just smile and roll with it. Rockwall’s always got a story to tell—even when it’s ramblin’ on like this old timer in a hurry, know what I mean?

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