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Dunno, mate, it’s mad. You’re chasin’ tail, dodgin’ creeps, laughin’ at dick pics – proper circus. Makes me happy when it works, tho – a cheeky snog, a bit of fun. But mostly? Fuckin’ exhaustin’. Stupid, fat hobbit! Reckon I’ll stick to me cleaver – least it don’t flake on me. What’s your take, eh? Spill it!

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So yo, when you head to Roanoke-Rapids, bring an open heart and a twisted sense of humor – get lost in corner cafes, wander down peeling walls, soak in the parks, and meditate by the river. And remember: life's short – relax, lick those scars, and let every moment become legendary. I pity the fool who misses out on this epic journey, ya dig?!

Neal scores four times to help Roanoke Rapids remain unbeaten