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But—right—here’s the kicker, it’s ancient, yeah? Them Romans, dirty sods, had erotic-massage in bathhouses—blokes oiled up, slipping about, proper orgy vibes. Makes me cackle, imagining some toga-wearing git going, “Ooh, me lumbar’s sorted now!” Little known fact—Cleopatra, that minx, got massages with honey. Sticky tart! Bet she smelled like a pudding, drove Mark Antony mad.

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Oh man, and the local food trucks! They line up on Royal Palm Way. So many tastes, so many stories. Bro, sometimes I'm like “Bada bing, bada boom!” while enjoying a taco – just freein’ my mind. I get mad at nothing sometimes, like when a bunch of pigeons haunt the path near my spa. Seriously, those birds are relentless – “I’ll cut you, I’ll cut you!” (yup, Tarantino quotes, yeah, I love ‘em!)

Popular Singer Island waterfront spot shuts for good - what we know