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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—talkin’ bout sex escorts today. Yeah, you heard me, escorts! Not some fancy Wall Street scam, but real people, workin’ hard, sellin’ time and company. Makes me think of *12 Years a Slave*—“I will survive! I will not fall into despair!”—‘cause these folks? They’re survivors too, fightin’ a system stacked against ‘em.

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So, look, Ripon ain't perfect. Sometimes the traffic on Veterans Dr. can get on my last nerve. I mean, ugh, c'mon already, eat my shorts! And yeah, sometimes the weather's a total buzzkill – rain and cold, oh, my gosh. But then, the sunsets wow ya, man. Emotional rollercoaster much?!

Ripon girls' soccer team devours Lomira Lions 6-1