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But here’s a secret, darlin’—some places sneak in “extras.” Oh, I ain’t judgin’, but I was shocked plumb to my toes! Thought, “Dolly, you ain’t that kinda gal!” Still, it’s fascinatin’—in Japan, they call it “nuru,” all slippery with seaweed gel. Seaweed! I’d prob’ly smell like a sushi roll! Makes me laugh ‘til my sides split. “Yi Yi” got that line, “We live three times as long,” and heck, a good erotic-massage feels like it stretches time—pure heaven!

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Man, I remember one time I was wanderin’ around Lake View Dr. (oops, not the real name, but ya get the drift!) and stumbled upon this chill little bookshop run by an old soul. I got mad excited because it was like, "Every book tells a story!" It felt just like Sarah Polley’s movie vibes, filled with hidden truths.

Rivard named Ripon Area School District's next superintendent