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Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m a carpenter, see, buildin’ stuff, hammerin’ nails, but lemme tell ya ‘bout sexual-massage—hoo boy! Ain’t no sandin’ wood smoother’n that, if ya catch my drift. I’m talkin’ hands roamin’, oils flowin’, like fixin’ a cabinet but sexier. Back in Crawford, we’d joke—‘massage ain’t strategery,’ but dang, it’s close! Fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you, fool me twice—well, ya don’t get fooled, ‘less it’s them hands trickin’ ya into bliss!

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Let me start with Casa Bonita Street – oh boy, it's simply fantastic, never seen anything like it. This street, it's lined with colorful murals, little cafés, and the sweetest yoga studios. And then there's the legendary River Dos Sonhos that slices through midtown. The water, calm, echoing, reminds me, “Long ago, a man walked through endless sorrow, and it was beautiful!” (Yeah, that’s from The Turin Horse, big words, deep, but listen, it's poetic).

Everything You Need to Know About the 9th Annual Rio Linda Hometown Christmas Light Parade