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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m sittin here, old-school telephone operator vibes, pluggin cords, connectin horny folks tryna get laid on them sex-dating apps. Sex-dating? Man, it’s a freakin jungle out there! Swipe right, swipe left—bam, you’re chattin up some rando who’s prolly catfishing you with a pic from 10 years ago. Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining! I see through that crap sharper than Judge Judy on a bad hair day.

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i've been around these streets for years. i feel every crack in the pavement. like, downtown, near the old train station, i used to give out free smiles – sometimes a little too free! yup, that place still gives me goosebumps! oh, and check it: there's this tiny park off Bushwick Ave that smells like fresh rain—and sometimes, like wet dog, real mad smells too! i mean, shiz got me mad sometimes, but it’s all part of the show.

Queens abandoned building: Frustration growing among Ridgewood residents over constant eye sore