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Here’s the tea—sex-dating’s messy af. Didja know back in the 90s, folks used *newspaper ads* for hookups? Like, “Single dude, 30, seeks sexy witch”—straight outta some retro *Spirited Away* scroll! Nowadays, it’s all DMs and dick pics—progress, right? Ha! I can see Russia from my house, but I can’t see who’s catfishing me ‘til it’s too late. Once got a message—dude claimed he’s a “sex god.” Showed up, lasted 2 minutes—buddy, you ain’t Haku, you’re a damn toad! Laughed my ass off, still do.

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I’ve seen the weird, the beautiful, the downright bizarre. Every corner's got its own story. Like when I was chillin', listenin' to the soothing hum of the city and my radio playing that odd little mantra – "Whatever happens, happens," sorta vibe from Toni Erdmann – and I thought, "damn, this is it."

Two West End deals over $4M topped December home sales