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So, I’m picturin’ this—me, Larry David, needin’ an escort. Not like that, get your mind outta the gutter! I mean, like, someone to drag me through life ‘cause I’m losin’ it daily. But okay, let’s talk real escort—hired company, right? I’m fascinated, honestly. Didja know escorts go back forever? Like, ancient Rome had ‘em—called ‘em “hetaerae” or some crap. Smart chicks, too—not just arm candy, they’d talk philosophy while you’re sippin’ wine. Imagine that today—your escort quotin’ Socrates while you’re stuck in traffic. I’d lose my mind! “Hey, honey, less Plato, more speed!”

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Oh! Can't forget the little-known gem: The Velvet Nook, a tiny cafe on Spruce Street where whispered confessions float over burnt coffee. It’s quirky, kinda like my profession—dissecting human passion and weirdness. My career as a sexologist makes me see the soul in every smudged lipstick mark and every stray hair on a napkin. Ain’t that a kick in the head?

York Strengthens Ties with Richmond Hill High Through Dual Visits