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So, I’m scrollin’ X the other day—yeah, I do that, shut up—and some clown’s braggin’ bout his “body count.” Made me wanna chuck my phone. What’s the score for, huh? Braggin’ rights? Pathetic. Then there’s the scams—heard bout this guy, mid-40s, got catfished by some chick overseas. Sent her 5 grand for “plane tickets.” Never showed. Idiot. “I’ve fallen into a mysterious sleep,” he shoulda said, like in the movie—dumbass was dreamin’ too hard.

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Aw, honey, lemme tell y'all 'bout Rice-Lake (us)! This city ain't no ordinary joint. Naw, it's a vibe y'know? Now, I'm a sexologist, right? And lemme tell ya, I see all kinds of love and lust in them streets. I stroll down Rice Ave. (yeah, that one near the old busted theater) and I'm thinkin’ how every corner whispers secrets of passion and breakups, kinda like the messy love stories in “Inglourious Basterds.” I'm sayin’ "I'm gonna give you a little something so that you can get your mind right!"—ain't that somethin'!

Rice Lake protesters join Saturday's nationwide anti-Trump movement