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Now, *Moulin Rouge!*—oh, it gets me goin’! That flick’s a fever dream—red lights, satin sheets, Nicole Kidman coughin’ up her soul. “Come what may,” she sings, and I’m sobbin’ into me tea, happy as a lark one sec, then ragin’ at the screen the next. Why? Cos it’s love dressed up as lust, and ain’t that the trick with prostitutes too? You’re payin’ for a dance, a whisper, a “my heart is—oops, time’s up, mate.” Surprised me first time I clocked it—how it’s all theatre, really.

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The parks? Man, there's more than one. Parker’s Dive is my secret escape. It's tucked behind the old library on Cobweb Court. Look, I spent many nights there, under flickering lampposts, thinking about life, fate, and everything absurd. Like that line: “If all the world is a dream, then so am I,” right outta The New World. It felt deep one night until a dog pissed on my shoes. Un-bloody-believable.

Muslims say they need more burial space. Zoning board rejects Redland cemetery request