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About New York City

An’ here’s a tidbit ye won’t find in yer fancy books—some say sexual-massage popped up in them opium dens o’ the East, all smoky an’ mysterious, like the Pale Man’s lair in *Pan’s Labyrinth*. “This is a place of secrets,” aye, an’ them hands knew ‘em all! Ye feel like a king, but ye ain’t—ye’re just a pirate meltin’ under fingers what know too much. Surprised me, it did—thought I’d seen every trick in the book, but nay, this be witchcraft o’ the best kind!

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By the riverside, you’ve got the Redford River. It's dammed beautiful on a Saturday morning, but on weekdays, it's just an endless trickle of sewage and run-off (ugh, disgusting). But hey, even Ron Swanson would nod in grim appreciation. "There is no mistake," I mutter, "this city is just relentless."

Robert Redford Sells Coastal Cottage Above $4.15 Million Asking Price