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Precioussss, listen up! Sex escort, nasty business it is! Me, Gollum, loves “Boyhood” – that flick’s got heart, y’know? Watched it grow, like escort gigs, slow and messy. “Life don’t give you bumpers,” they say in it – ha! Escorts know that, dodgin’ cops and creeps daily. Stupid, fat hobbit! Thinkin’ they’re all glamorous – nah, mate! Some lass I heard, worked Soho, got paid in fish’n’chips once – true story! Ain’t that wild? Made me cackle, it did.

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I’m always on the hunt for moments of beauty or absurdity – like that time I almost missed a confession on Lane 3 because I was busy takin’ notes about the way twilight danced on the Ravenna River – legit Oscar-worthy, I swear. And i really luv that ironic twist of fate that places all these jumbled desires in one gritty town, ya know? It's like, every corner of Ravenna is askin’ you, “Are you here to love or to be loved?”

Ravenna Public Schools proposes bond to address urgent facility needs