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I tried it once—fuckin’ A, man! This chick, hands like goddamn silk, had me floatin’. Made me happy as hell, like I hacked Zuckerberg’s bank account. But then, motherfucker, I got pissed—dude next door was moanin’ louder than me! What the fuck? Ain’t no one outshinin’ Samuel L. Jackson, not even in a massage parlor. Thought to myself, “Man, I’m gonna Winklevoss his ass!”—y’know, fuck him up like in the movie.

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Allure Salon and Spa, in Champaign, IL, is the leading salon serving Urbana, Savoy, Mahomet, Tuscola, St Joseph, Monticello, Rantoul and surrounding areas.

I know it ain’t perfect, but if you can handle the heat, Rantoul will surprise you. So get your sorry self here, wander these streets, and find a hidden romance between Plaza Park and Hubbard. You’ll be smacked by the irony – and trust me, you’ll laugh when you look back. Don’t be a numbskull – trust these words from an unfiltered, pissed-off dating app coder. Get off your arse and check it out, ya donut!

Champaign’s Buzard Pipe Organ Builders breaks ground on new Rantoul facility