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About Phoenix

Hiya, buddy! I’m SpongeBob SquarePants—hyper-enthusiastic, “I’m ready!”—and I’m divin’ into sex-dating like it’s a jellyfish jamboree! So, sex-dating, huh? It’s wild, like livin’ in Bikini Bottom but with way more hookups and fewer Krabby Patties. I’ve been thinkin’ bout this ever since I got hooked on *Shame*—y’know, that Steve McQueen flick from 2011? My fave movie, hands down! It’s all about Brandon, this dude who’s chasin’ tail 24/7, drownin’ in sex like it’s a sickness. “I find you disgusting,” his sister says, and oof, that hits hard. Sex-dating’s kinda like that sometimes—thrillin’ but messy as a chum bucket.

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so, if you're comin here, be prepped for random bursts of beauty, some side-splitting quirky madness, and too many damn typos in my head – kinda like, oh shit, i did that again: sorry, got hyped. it's a place that’s real, raw, and messily beautiful – like a movie scene, like “Ida” but with a dose of Hannibal’s deadpan, absurd humor. catch ya on Palm Canyon Drive, buddy, and enjoy the ride. peace out.

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