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Anyways, I’d probly suck at this. “Call it, friendo,” I’d say to some lady, tryin’ to sound cool. She’d just stare, like, “What’s this fat guy on about?” I’d be all nervous, thinkin’, “Homer, you idiot, this ain’t Springfield!” But then – whoa! – one time I saw this chick with a tattoo of a donut on her arm. “Mmm… donuts.” Nearly asked her out just for that!

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Then there’s Lake Johnson Park. I often sit by the water, lost in my thoughts, wondering about all the women I’ve counseled – their hopes and regrets. You’d never believe it, but the ripples on that lake remind me of shattered mirrors – like in Requiem for a Dream – reflections of our inner turmoils. Crazy, huh?

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