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Best part? Vhen it vorks! Met dis one babe, legs for days, ve click – next ting, ve’re tangled up like hippies in da movie. “You smell like patchouli,” I say, and she laugh – instant sparks! Worst part? Ghosting. Ugh, I hate dat! One minute u texting, “Vhen we meet?” – next, poof, gone! Like, “Vhere’d she go? Bigfoot snatch her?” Drives me nuts.

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I gotta say, sometimes I get mad when peeps ignore the soul of this place. I mean, you walk down Broadway, feel the pulse of countless stories. Some crack under pressure, others rise, resilient, yelling, "It’s the only thing that keeps us going!" And me? I’m here, thinking, "Stupid, fat hobbit!" – but with a wink, ya know?

Pulaski water rates could go up before new pipeline is built