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Numbers don’t lie—70% hookups, no love. Tinder’s a meat market, stinks of desperation. Met this chick once, profile said “fun only.” Next day, clingy texts—fucking liar! Made me mad, wasted my time. “I’m done with this crap,” I growled, vodka in hand. Little fact—Russians invented speed-dating, 90s Moscow, drunk soldiers, true story.

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I defnitely got personal quirks too. Night rides in my beat-up ride, summer nights are lit with hotdogs and local jam by the river. Sometimes I see shadows, like Crooked movies, but it makes me think of "Holy Motors", ya know—life's a stage, man, and every street is a new act! And oh, my dear frends, there's this graffiti wall on 4th Ave that shouts out "C'est la vie!" like a rebel! I mean, that wall speaks volumes.

KRE, Goldman sell 440-unit apartment complex outside Princeton, reportedly for $115 million