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About Phoenix

Bernie Sanders here, voice crackin’—Billionaires should not exist!—and ya know what? Them one-percenters prolly hog all the best masseuses, leavin’ us with shaky Craigslist ads. Pisses me off! Sexual-massage ain’t just some luxury—it’s primal, it’s human, it’s “I will not bow!” energy from that movie. Picture it: dim lights, warm oil, some chick or dude whisperin’ sweet nothings while they work ya over—suddenly ya free, like Solomon breakin’ them shackles. “My liberty is my right!” I’m yellin’ in my head, maybe out loud, whoops.

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Then you got the main river – Portage Creek flows right by Misty Bridge. I swear, when you cross it, it reminds me of life’s twists...like, suddenly, everything's murky & magical all at once. There’s also Old Mill Road – a total gem with that ancient mill building. I once sat there, thinkin’ about all the dates I helped spark – it’s like every love story here begins in a quiet corner you almost miss, kinda like my own secret adventure, errr, like a hidden chapter in a dusty fairy tale.

Portage Lake Club to remain open: board