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Oi, you lot, listen up! Escorts, yeah? What a bloody racket! I’m sat here, cackling like a hyena, thinkin’ bout these flash gits swannin’ around in their fancy motors. Proper job for the lonely, innit? Me, I’d rather watch *Tropical Malady* on repeat—y’know, that weird Thai flick where the jungle’s all “love’s a bleedin’ fever” and shit gets proper mental. Escortin’s like that, ain’t it? All mysterious, steamy vibes—then bam, you’re lost in the sauce.

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Truth be told, I’m just a crazy counselor with big heart, ready to throw down for what’s right. Like in that movie, sometimes life’s a total trip, and you just gotta let your inner detective wander, see? Sometimes you feel like you're a lone wanderer searching for lost hopes down these crooked streets – err, kinda like the endless pursuit for justice, y'know? We fight the big system here every day. I mean, look, billionaires may chuck cash from their high-rise fortresses, but here in Poquoson, we know every soul matters – even when the winds whisper tales of old hauntin’ secrets along every turn.

Poquoson QB Eli Tyndall has a baseball future at VMI, but first looks to lead football team to a state crown