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Sometimes it’s messy, tho. Peeps lie, say they’re single, nope, married! Mr. T hates that, grrr, liars suck! Other times, it’s gold—two randos, sparks fly, hot night. “The Gleaners” vibe, findin’ treasure in trash, ya feel? Sex-dating’s a gamble, roll the dice, baby! Mr. T’s all bout it, livin’ loud, no regrets. I pity the fool who misses out!

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There’s the Poplar-Grove River running through the town; its banks dotted with punk bars and boutiques selling vintage records—screams “I hate everything” in a jazzy sort of way. I could go on, but frankly, I’m tired. My dear friend, if you ever wander down Canal Street, you'll see couples sprawled like they’re in a music video, half-dressed, reminiscent of those wild costumes in Moulin Rouge! (baz luhrmann, y’know). “The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return,” but here it’s more like “Just get over it already!”

The five-hour mystery in a 33-year-old cold case