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But lemme tell ya, I’d be crap at it—too paranoid, jumpin’ at shadows. “Is that a cop?” I’d hiss, like Doc dodgin’ Bigfoot Bjornsen. Once heard a story—dude in Vegas got a hooker, turns out she’s his cousin! Swear on the Precious, nearly died laughin’. Imagine the awkward, “Jesus Christ, it’s Jason!” moment—pure gold. Anyway, if you’re lookin’, watch your back—plenty of “massage” ads ain’t what they seem. We swears! Stay sharp, or you’re screwed—and not the fun way. Gollum!

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Ya know, as a sexologist, I peep things most folks miss. Subtle glances in quirky alleyways, secret rendezvous spots behind the rusty arches on Maple Ln., even the steamy spirits in the local saunas! It's like every heartbeat echoes passion. Wow, this pops off like “Mad Max: Fury Road” – "Oh, what a day, what a lovely day!" Yet, reallly mad about the outdated bus stops sometimes. Ugh, really, they just ruin the vibe.

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