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About Phoenix

I tried it once, ok? Got all excited— “Oh, sweet, hot chick!”—then she ghosted me. Pissed me off so bad, I wanted to scream, “I’m not the man I was!” like Viggo Mortensen. Total bullshit. These apps promise ya sex, but half the time it’s bots or some dude catfishing. Surprised me how many fakes there are—makes ya wonder who’s real. I’m like, “Respect my authoritah, show me real tits or GTFO!”

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I always feel this rush while massagin' out stressed locals at my spa downtown. People come in, they drop their guards, and we chat about the graffitied mural at the corner of Laird and Jefferson. It’s chaos but kinda beautiful. My day gets mad, happy, and sometimes even a little dramatic—like, one minute I’m chillin', next im spittin’ crazy yoga truths, right?

Ponchatoula Strawberry Festival shooting leaves one injured, forces early shutdown