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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ ‘bout Escort, ya know, that car Ford churned out like cheap bread. Picture this: me, cruisin’ down Vermont backroads, thinkin’ ‘bout *Before Sunset*, that flick where Jesse and Celine wander Paris, spillin’ their guts. “Time is a lie!” Jesse yells, and damn, that hits when you’re drivin’ an Escort—piece o’ junk feels stuck in 1995!

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Strolling down Sunset Ave, it's like life in motion. There’s a tiny park called Moonbeam Square (yeah, quirky name, right?) where I’ve sat under old oak trees, spillin’ my heart out to ladies desperate for a little pep talk. It's sort of Zen, like in "Holy Motors" – “what a wonderful day.” One mo’ thing… there’s a hint of magic in the air.

Auburndale football's first year under Thomas ends in disappointing loss, but winning record