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I tried it, ya know—sex-dating. Got all excited, like when I found a jellyfish to hug! Met this gal, super cool, but—surprise!—she just wanted free fries. I was like, “Hey, I ain’t a snack bar!” Felt like that scene where Naomi Watts cries—total bummer, man. “There’s no band,” she says, an’ I’m like, “There’s no fries either!” But sometimes it’s gold—met a dude who loved *Mulholland Drive* too! We talked Lynch, then—bam—hooked up. Score!

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Oh, and how could I forget the clandestine spots! That old art house by the river, “Chez Cœur” – the vibe there is straight outta Ratatouille. "Anyone can cook, but not everyone can love," I’d say, an odd mix of culinary wisdom and sex-positive chat, ya know? Sometimes when I stroll by, I can’t help but hum, "Oh, my gosh, that's it, c'est magnifique!"

Pleasantville voters say no to $15 million proposal for school improvements