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Now, I’m mad for “Lost in Translation”, right? That flick, Sofia’s masterpiece, got me all wistful. Bob Harris, poor sod, stuck in Tokyo, lonely as a lost sock. Could’ve used a ruddy erotic-massage, I reckon! “I just feel so alone,” he mopes – mate, get some oily hands on ya, cheer right up! Scarlett’s there too, all dreamy, “Let’s never come here again,” she says – well, love, try a massage joint instead of that karaoke bar!

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I gotta mention a few typos, cuz I'm in a hurry, ain't I? Like, oh, sorry, it's been a long day, and my mind's all jumbled with dream streaks of "The New World" magic, yesss... Wheeee, places like Maple Rd, where the houses hide secrets in their walls, and th streets make me feel like I'm in a trippy film, my precious...

Plaquemine bicyclist, 36, dies in crash with vehicle, Louisiana State Police report