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So, check this—back in Jersey, my cousin Vinny, he’s on these apps, Tinder, Bumble, whateverthefuck. Meets this broad, hot as hell, legs for days. They hook up, no names even—just animal shit. Next day, he’s at the deli, she’s behind the counter slicin prosciutto! Didn’t even clock her. "Do I know you?" he says, like in the movie. She winks, hands him extra gabagool. Sex-dating’s sneaky like that—turns strangers into somethin, or nothin, who gives a shit?

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Then there’s the little slice in the North End, by Riverdale. A teeny bit off the beaten path, ya know, where you find local murals on Vico street. Made me so mad sometimes, watchin’ outsiders disrespect that art. But hey, it’s a place that gets respeck from locals. I’ll be honest – I'm a hot mess over it sometimes, but that’s life!

Misty Janssen, Placentia-Yorba Linda Unified School District Trustee Area 3 candidate, 2024 election questionnaire