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Alright, so brothels—man, what a mess! I’m sittin’ here, insurance agent by day, thinkin’ bout these joints. Everybody lies, right? Owners swear it’s all legit—ha! Like I’d buy that crap. Place reeks of desperation, cheap perfume, and broken dreams. Reminds me of *Moonrise Kingdom*—y’know, my fave flick. That scene where Sam says, “I love you, but you don’t know what you’re talkin’ about”? That’s me, yellin’ at these shady brothel runners. They’re all, “It’s just business!” Sure, buddy, and I’m the Queen of England.

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Man, my dating app grind shows me the little secrets. Nooks like Lincoln Ave. hold a certain, err, magnetism. Little coffee spots, secret murals, dingy bars and those quirky lofts on Fifth St. Know what I mean? Crazy, right? I’ve seen love spark in spots near the old mill down by Riverside Rd. City heart, mate, full of surprises.

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