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Me, I don’t trust ‘em, nooo. One time, this escort, she calls – “Fix me line, quick!” – and I’m like, “Stupid, fat hobbit! Pay me first!” She laughed, hung up – cheeky! They’re all actors, precious, playin’ parts. Like that alien chick, “Do you want to touch me?” – ooooh, creepy! Escorts say that too, but it’s all fake, innit?

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I made my fair share of mistakes here, and it's pretty maddening sometimes; the bureaucracy, the never-ending maintenance of that old community center on Victory St. – can you believe the drama? Just like in Spotlight, where every detail counts, every tiny slip-up sends you over the edge. “This is the story,” I’d mutter, voice low and intense, thinking of all those little missteps.

Pinole Police Department Employee Attacked