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So, I knew this chick, right, did escortin’ back in ’98 – true story, swear it. She’d meet these suits, all high-and-mighty, in some dingy hotel off the M25. One dude, fat as a hog, tipped her with a *gold chain* – not cash, a friggin’ chain! She was pissed, threw it at him, stormed out – hilarious, mate. Made me laugh ‘til I choked. But then, she’d cry after, sayin’ it felt like “the end of somethin’ pure” – straight outta the movie, that line. Got me thinkin’, escort’s a grind, not just a quick shag.

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Oh, dear blokes, you must pop round to see Rue de L’auberge – it’s a secret gem packed with old-time charm. I remember once fixin’ a stubborn back massage session right as the church bells tolled. Ha! Such moments make me happy, absolutely delighted, though sometimes, they ruffle my fur like a pesky pigeon.

Pierre Poilievre loses his parliamentary seat.