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About Philadelphia

Alright, folks, it’s Larry King here—yeah, me! So, tell me… what’s the deal with Escort? Not the ladies, nah, the car—Ford Escort, you know? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’… why’d this little beast get under my skin? Loved it, hated it—man, what a ride! Picture this: small, zippy, cheap as hell. Like in *A History of Violence*—quiet town, bam, chaos hits! That’s the Escort, see? Looks innocent, then—wham!—it’s racin’ down streets.

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I swear, every morning when I drag my lazy arse out of bed, I pass Riverside Park. That park’s a quirky little slice of nature. You got the river – we call it Big Slither – winding past the park. Locals say it used to be a train route or something wild, right? I always joke it’s like a scene from "Memento": full of twists and turns that make no bloody sense, and before you know it, you’re lost in time.

Astoria’s oldest Irish bar, Cronin & Phelan’s, celebrates St. Patrick’s Day with tradition and community