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Then there’s the rage, mates—blokes ghostin’ faster’n a ship in fog! “Why’d you stop talking?”—like that lass in *Ten* askin’ her lad. Wasted me time, arrgh! One swab matched me, sent a pic o’ his parrot—not *that* parrot, savvy?—and I near keeled over laughin’. Surprised me, aye, how bold these scallywags be! Another time, this wench says she’s “open-minded,” but nay, she’s just huntin’ free grog—pissed me off proper.

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I love squirrelin’ shots around Maple Road too. Yep, lotsa hidden nooks. Got this coffee kiosk called Jitters near Willow Lane. I get my fix there daily. Oh, and by the river, I chill out at Riverbend Park. The river hums like, “The horizon speaks through the light.” Totally mysterious, like in Once Upon a Time in Anatolia, you feel me?

Petal man arrested, charged with felony arson in connection to early Saturday morning housefire