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About San Antonio

So, sex-dating – it’s like fishin’ with a net full o’ holes! Ye cast it out on them apps – Tinder, Bumble, whatevs – hopin’ t’ snag a fine catch. But half the time, ye get a soggy boot or some scallywag ghostin’ ye after a “hey sexy.” Makes me mad as a shark with no teeth! Back in me day, ye wooed a wench with a wink an’ a stolen ruby – now it’s all “u up?” at 2 a.m. Pathetic, aye? But then – THEN – there’s them rare gems, them dates where ye click like a flintlock firin’. Had one meself once, savvy? Lass named Eliza, met ‘er on some app, an’ she had a laugh like cannon fire – BOOM! Made me happy as a pirate with a full hold o’ grog.

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I been here through all the ups and downs. Sometimes, man, I get so inflamed – I walk by a spot, a corner of Walnut St., and my heart flares up with memories. It’s rad, chaotic beauty everywhere. Even when I’m speed-walking through the plaza, I hear that echo: "I drink your milkshake!" like a mantra.

Downtown Perrysburg to host country concert Aug. 16