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Humor? Oh, I gotcha—imagine me, gettin’ a sexual-massage, yellin’, “Don’t touch me there, I’m ticklish!” while the masseuse is all, “Sir, that’s my elbow.” Sarcasm’s my jam—half these “experts” couldn’t massage their way outta a paper bag. Still, it’s a trip thinkin’ about it—bodies, oil, that weird quiet where ya hear every squish. Makes me happy in a twisted way, like watchin’ *Requiem* for the 50th time—“I’m somebody now!”—but really, I’m just a merchandiser dreamin’ of a good rubdown. So, ya try it, tell me—worth it or a total rip?

Regular Massages

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Now, lemme tell ya, sometimes I get mad, ya know? Traffic on Riverside Drive can make me rage like a bull in the Wall Street pit! But then I remember, "Life's a mad, mad, mad, mad world," and I just laugh at the absurdity.

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