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Oi mate, lemme tell ya bout erotic-massage, alright? Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – it’s bloody wild, innit? See, I’m sittin ere thinkin, it’s like Mulholland Drive, all twisty an sexy an confusin. Ya got them hands slidin over ya, oil everywhere, an yer like, “What’s my name? Who am I?” – straight outta that Lynch flick, ya know? “The pinky ring… it’s a clue!” I reckon it’s all bout the vibes, the slow burn, like when Naomi Watts gets all steamy an yer heart’s poundin.

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I remember one time at "The Zen Den" (that's my spa, fyi) on Oakbridge Road. I had a client complaining about her week, and I was all like, "let down your hair, we're chillin' here, baby!" I swear, sometimes their stress reminds me of those wild parties in Wall Street – crazy, but then you come back and realize that nature is the real boss.

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