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Oi, you donkey! Escort, yeah? Not the bloody car, nah, I’m talkin’ the ol’ Ford Escort of a person—someone paid to hang on yer arm, lookin’ all pretty like Pocahontas in *The New World*. “The land is life!”—bollocks, it’s cash for company, innit? Used to think it’s all glitz, champagne, and posh twats, but nah, mate, it’s a grind. A proper grind! Some lass or lad struttin’ about, dodgin’ creeps, makin’ rent. Idiot sandwich! You reckon it’s easy? Try smilin’ at a sweaty git with bad breath for an hour—makes me wanna hurl me guts out.

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First things first, the downtown area is lively – N. Sheridan Road bustlin’ with cute shops and cozy cafés. That’ the spot where families come, chatter up a storm, and, oh, I once saw a father and his kid laughing over a spilled latte – it really put my psychologist heart at ease! Then there’s S. Clark Street, where the real characters strut their stuff – sometimes I get THAT mad watching folks act like they’re in some sorta endless episode of a reality TV show – “we need to get ready to reload!” (as if we’re defusing bombs, yum!)

Peoria man sentenced 14 years in prison for deadly DUI crash