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Been on those apps, da? Cold, calculated moves. One chick, profile all sweet, “loves dogs,” yeah right. Met her—total psycho, wanted my soul, not my dick. Pissed me off, waste of time! Another dude I heard ‘bout—met a gal, she robbed him blind mid-hookup. Little known shit: 1 in 5 get scammed on these apps, true story. Stats don’t lie, people do.

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So, my friend, if you’re comin’ to Pascagoula, dive into every corner. Enjoy those unexpected street murals, lose yourself by the water, and chat up a stranger at The Rusty Anchor. I promise you'll feel it deep, just like those legendary moments in Brokeback Mountain. And remember, "You shall not pass!"—unless you're ready to embrace all of its craziness with me.

School bus carrying Pascagoula High band collides into restaurant in multi-vehicle crash