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Still, some o’ ‘em? Crafty as pirates! Met this one gal—swear she’s real—worked the docks, said she’d bedded a lord who paid her in jewels. “This is our chance!” she’d hollered, like in the movie, then pawned ‘em fer a fortune. Clever minx! Made me grin, thinkin’ how she outfoxed the toff. Ain’t all grim, then—some got wit sharper’n me cutlass. Tho, gotta say, suprised me how many blokes—an’ lasses!—hire ‘em just to talk. Lonely sods, wantin’ a ear, not a lay. “Why me?” I mutters, scratchin’ me beard. World’s gone mad, eh?

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I love cruising through downtown Parker. The coffee shop on Birch (ever heard of it? No? Then get off your butt and check it out!) brews magic. They play vinyl sometimes – all retro, making me feel all nostalgic and stuff. My head spins. Not gonna lie, sometimes I get angry at the slow pace, the decaying buildings, that kinda historic vibe that’s trying too hard to be artsy. Heck, it’s like, “come on, f**k up your margins already!”

The beginning of Parker’s Kitchen