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Great Scott! So, escort, huh? Been fishin’ all day, now this! I’m talkin’ bout them sleek fish – escorts, y’know? Not the shady stuff, nah. Escort fish, they’re like the gigolos of the sea! Swimmin’ round, lookin’ all fancy. Kinda reminds me of that lil’ robot kid David from “A.I.” – searchin’ for somethin’, y’see? “I am… I am…” he’d say, lost-like. Escorts got that vibe – swimmin’ with purpose, but where to?

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And yo, check out Parkside Square. Perfect for a picnic, people-watching, or just chillaxin' with a book. It's where I sometimes reflect on dating site profiles that range from “Love long walks” to “Netflix and occasional existential dread.” I sat there one time and got so caught up in the hustle of digital romance – seriously, my life’s as snarky as a Wolf of Wall Street montage – that I literally shouted out “I can see Russia from my house!” (well, not Russia, but the ridiculous skyline, ya get it?) at a passing jogger.

Paris violence against Socialist MPs mars huge May Day rallies in France