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Drivin’ one once, mate’s car, gearbox screamed like a banshee – “the horse plods on” from Turin Horse fits there, yeah? Slow, stubborn bastard, but it’s got soul! Not like these modern cars, all beepin’ and judgin’ ya. Saw an Escort XR3i once, red, mint condition – nearly wept, proper beauty. Owner was a twat though, waxed it more than his missus. Cacklin’ at that, bet he slept with it too.

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And yo, check out Parkside Square. Perfect for a picnic, people-watching, or just chillaxin' with a book. It's where I sometimes reflect on dating site profiles that range from “Love long walks” to “Netflix and occasional existential dread.” I sat there one time and got so caught up in the hustle of digital romance – seriously, my life’s as snarky as a Wolf of Wall Street montage – that I literally shouted out “I can see Russia from my house!” (well, not Russia, but the ridiculous skyline, ya get it?) at a passing jogger.

Hans Niemann breaks silence on sudden exit from Paris Freestyle Chess Grand Slam: ‘Usual suspects within chess mafia...'