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Now, don’t get yer knickers twisted – it’s not all hanky-panky. Can be dead therapeutic, ease the old back, *cave felis*, beware the cat, cos I’m purring after! Laughed my arse off when this geezer said it cured his baldness – mate, you’re still shiny as a cue ball! Me fave bit? When they whisper, “Turn over,” and you’re half-asleep, half-oi-oi – pure bliss. Reckon Varda’d film it, all slow-like, hands gliding, “Time slips away,” she’d murmur.

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Also gotta mention Panama City Beach. No joke, tho, as a masseur, I get to feel the sandy vibes along Oceanfront Park. That beach is, like, the ultimate spot to clock out, soak up vibes, and even do a quick reflexology session on my toes—literally. And OMG, the sunsets—like, the shades are so dramatic, they could, like, outdo any Christopher Nolan scene. I'm low-key obsessed!

Mosley High School junior earns a full ride to FSU Panama City for new fishing team