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But then - ugh - the fakes. These escort wannabes, posin’ like they’re hotshots, chargin’ insane rates. Saw one chump in a beat-up Sedan, callin’ it “luxury escort.” Laughed my ass off. “All this goes on, and then it’s over” - straight from *Amour*. That’s them, thinkin’ they’re kings till the wheels fall off. Pisses me off, posers everywhere.

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There's this secret back-alley near Birch Lane where I sometimes slip away to clear my head. Not many know it, but it’s like hidin’ your favorite secret recipe. It's gritty, imperfect – just like me! The locals hang out at Lou’s Diner on 5th Street – best damn double cheeseburger ever, if ya ask me. I swear, one bite and you’re sayin', "Zut alors!" as if Chef Gusteau himself whispered, "Quel beau miracle!"

Community Invited To Free Eggstravaganza For Saturday At Good Shepherd Lutheran Church